What Your Words Reveal About Your Heart
When I was a kid, one of my favorite things to do was walk around the block with my younger brother and older sister. We loved waving and saying hello to our neighbors, but our favorite stop was Miss Hyde’s house. Miss Hyde had four giant apple trees in her backyard. I remember them being beautifully color-coordinated from red to green, and to my little-kid eyes, they were magical. And I wanted one every time we walked around the block.
But there was just one rule. We had to ask before picking an apple. Easy enough, right? If Miss Hyde was outside, we’d yell, “Miss Hyde, can we have an apple?” She always said yes. But sometimes she was inside. And apparently walking all the way across her yard and knocking on the door required a level of patience and self-control that my nine-year-old self had not yet acquired. Sometimes I’d just grab an apple. Then the guilt would set in, especially when I could see Miss Hyde through the window.
So eventually I learned to walk the long stretch of grass, knock on the door, and ask. The funny thing is, Miss Hyde always said yes. And all these years later, I don’t really remember whether Miss Hyde even liked apples. But I remember that she was loving, generous, peaceful, joyful, gentle, kind, and patient. With a neighborhood full of kids constantly knocking on her door, I never remember hearing anything foul, negative, or mean-spirited come out of her mouth.
Miss Hyde was known for her fruit. And so are we.
What’s Coming Out of Your Mouth?
Jesus said something in Matthew 12:33-34, that gets my attention every time I read it: “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit… For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.”
Jesus was confronting the Pharisees. They had watched Him heal a demon-possessed man who was blind and unable to speak, and instead of recognizing the work of God, they accused Jesus of casting out demons by the power of Satan. But Jesus didn’t just address their words. He went straight to their hearts.
According to Jesus, what comes out of our mouths isn’t simply a mouth problem. It reveals something about our hearts. “For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” Ouch. Before I became a Christian, I had an out-of-control mouth. And I didn’t particularly care what it sounded like. It wasn’t pretty. But after I gave my life to Christ (28 years ago), one of the first things the Holy Spirit got ahold of was my mouth. The words that hadn’t bothered me before suddenly sounded so awful. So, I knew something changed in my heart.
For those of you wondering, did I instantly become a soft-spoken woman whose every word sounded like a greeting card? Absolutely not. These days, I’d probably describe myself as having a case of sassy-smart-mouth syndrome. Most days I do pretty well. But occasionally my mouth still doesn’t want to cooperate. Sometimes, I can be unkind. But here’s what I learned: Following Jesus doesn’t mean instant perfection. But there needs to be evident growth.
Your Fruit Tells a Story
Galatians 5 gives us two very different pictures of what can come from our lives. Paul describes the works of the flesh, including things like hatred, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, rivalries, dissensions, and envy (Galatians 5:19–21). Then he gives us a completely different list in Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Did you notice how many of those traits become obvious through the way we speak.
- Patience.
- Kindness.
- Gentleness.
- Self-control.
It’s easy to read the fruit of the Spirit and think, Yep. I want to be known for those. But here’s the harder question: Would the people who listen to us every day say that’s the fruit they’re receiving? What about our husbands? Our children? Our coworkers? The woman at church who irritates us? Or how about the customer service representative who has now transferred us three times? And let’s not forget about the servers at our local restaurants, what would they say about us?
We can say we’re patient, but eventually our mouths will tell on us. And our words will reveal whether kindness is actually growing. Our words are fruit. And fruit tells us something about the condition of the tree.
Sometimes We Need a Mouth Check-Up
Maybe this subject gets my attention because I spent years working as a dental hygienist. So, I know a little about looking inside people’s mouths. But Scripture gives us a different kind of mouth examination. We’re warned about lying lips (Proverbs 12:22), gossip (Proverbs 20:19), and being too quick to speak (James 1:19).
But one verse became especially important to me as God began changing my speech: “Do not let any unwholesome talk (harmful) come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” –Ephesians 4:29
So, what are our words producing in the person receiving them? Grace? Peace? Encouragement? Or are we giving someone a basket full of rotten apples?
The Problem Goes Deeper Than Our Words
Before you panic and start making a list of the harmful words you’re never going to say again. Or slap a sticky note over our computer that says, BE NICE. I’m not saying those things won’t help. But I want us to know Jesus wants us to take these actions deeper. “The mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” If bitterness keeps coming out, I need to ask what’s happening in my heart. If you keep giving others a slice of criticism, what’s going on deep inside? Does anger, gossip, jealousy, complaining, or harshness keeps spilling out, then ask what’s happening inside this heart of mine?
That’s why I love David’s prayer: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” -Psalm 139:23–24
That’s a brave prayer. God, show me what’s really in there. Sometimes we need Him to reveal what’s growing underneath the surface. Changing our words without letting God change our hearts is a little like polishing a rotten apple. It might look better for a while. But the problem is still inside.
Let God Grow Something Better in Me
Here’s the good news. If you’re reading this thinking, Well, Dee, you should have heard what came out of my mouth yesterday, I’m not suggesting that one ugly moment means you’re a ruined fruit tree. The Christian life is a lifelong process of transformation. I’m still learning too. But the Holy Spirit continues to work on my impatience, my tone, and my need to respond more gently. Friends, our lives should show evident growth. Jesus said, “A tree is known by its fruit” (Matthew 12:33). So maybe October is a good time for a little fruit inspection.
Ask God to make you aware of what’s coming out of your mouth this week. Listen to yourself when you’re irritated and tired, or when someone disagrees with you. Also ask how you talk about someone who isn’t in the room. And when God shows you something, don’t just try harder to keep your mouth shut. Go back to the heart.
Ask Him to show you what’s unhealthy and grow something better through His Spirit. Paul reminds us: “If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” -Galatians 5:25
We aren’t going to produce the fruit of the Spirit by gritting our teeth and trying harder to sound nice. We need the Spirit to change what’s happening in our hearts so that what comes out of our mouths increasingly reflects Him. Because eventually, what’s growing inside of us is going to show up on the outside.
And when people reach for the fruit our lives are producing, may they find love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Friends, how do you like them apples?
Keep it fruitful,
💛 Dee
What have your words been revealing about your heart lately? Is there an area where God is asking you to grow in kindness, patience, gentleness, or self-control? Share in the comments below. I’d love to hear what He’s teaching you. And if you’re looking for more ways to grow in your faith, head over to the Dee-votionals for monthly encouragement, practical biblical teaching, and resources to help you grow in Christ.
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